Wonderful
by MissCar
Summary: A mother and son story. Five times Winona Kirk told James everything was great/wonderful when it really wasn't and the one time it was true. Pairings: W/G, W/F, W/P and future K/S
1. Chapter 1

Series: Trek Pod

Title: Wonderful

Inspired by: by Everclear

Lyric excerpt:

Promises mean everything when you're little  
>And the world's so big<br>I just don't understand how  
>You can smile with all those tears in your eyes<br>Tell me everything is wonderful now

Summary: A mother and son story. Five times Winona Kirk told James everything was great/wonderful when it really wasn't and the one time it was true.

Rated: T for breastfeeding, nudity, domestic violence, language, and sexual situations of multiple orientations

This story could go up to M during the chapter that covers domestic violence because of the sensitivity of the subject matter.

Special note: There will be slash elements in this story eventually. I think it's impossible for me to write without there being K/S undertones but we won't get there for a while.

Thank you to Teddy Bear for reviewing this. All remaining mistakes are mine or the voice recognition software's.

I do not own Star Trek.

Chapter Warning: breastfeeding

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><p><strong>Part one: Happy birthday<strong>

Her body hurt in places that should not under any circumstances. Winona didn't remember childbirth being this painful the first time around. Then again, the first time she was highly medicated and her husband was there to hold her hand. She didn't have to give birth 10 weeks prematurely with just the medical staff in an escape pod as she watched her husband die.

Now he would never hold her hand again or their son. George was gone. The man she loved more than anything else in the universe was no longer with her and she was left with just the screaming cries of the baby with his father's eyes. She felt so alone and broken inside that she didn't know how to react.

Now she was in the Medical Bay of the Mandela, the ship that came to the rescue too late. They came too late to save her husband, but just in time to save one of the few pieces she had left of him. James was in the next room receiving various medications to strengthen his lungs and immune system. Her child was taken out of her hands the moment their escape pod was intercepted. James should not have survived the premature delivery at a mere 1.7 Kilos and his lungs only half developed in an environment without the Medical Equipment for a preemie. Thanks to modern medicine, he would be fine. He was a fighter, just like his father, Winona thought to herself as one tear rolled down her cheek.

She was mostly left to herself in this tiny room except for the occasional visit of the chief medical officer to update on her son's progress and the overly cherry nurse that doesn't realize that Winona just lost her husband mere hours ago and despises happy. The medical staff from the Kelvin were too busy most likely filling out the incident reports to visit. The captain came down to see her and to express her condolences but that was it. She wished others would come by, then maybe she wouldn't have to think about the fact that she was going to raise the baby in the other room alone.

All she had was her thoughts and her son screams to keep her occupied. She should be happy because his screaming meant that his lungs were getting stronger. The crying and screaming meant that he was going to be okay. Everything would be okay again she told herself on the verge of tears.

"It looks like baby J's lungs are getting better and he wants to see mommy." The overly cheerful nurse said as she placed the baby in her arms again. Winona felt overwhelmed by the mere fact of seeing her now gone husband's eyes staring back at her. They should have been brown like hers and her first son, but for reasons unknown, that didn't happen. Instead she was haunted by George's eyes.

"Don't call him that. His name is James. His father gave him that name." Winona said fighting back tears. She would not cry in front of this woman. She would not cry at all.

"Sorry." The nurse said but Winona doubted she cared. "Now that James is stronger and can be outside of the sterile environment for a little bit, Dr. Madison wants you to try breast feeding the old fashioned way instead of using the pump. Those natural antibodies are still what are best for him. Also decades of research has shown that touches very beneficial for premature babies. Do you need any help with your gown?" The nurse asked.

"No. Although, if you could give me a little privacy that would be good." Winona said, suddenly hinting that she wanted the nurse to leave. Unfortunately, the woman did not get it.

"Would you like a shawl?" The nurse asked even cheerier than before.

"No, I do not want a shawl." Winona almost screamed. "I want to be alone with my child. I just watched my husband die the day before and I can't deal with you being all happy." At that moment, James started screaming again. Winona would like to think that he was agreeing with her for the too happy nurse to go away.

"That's okay. If you need me I will be in the next room." Nurse sunshine said as she slowly backed out of the room.

Winona started gently rocking James with one hand as she struggled out of her gown. After a few unsuccessful moments, she wondered if she should have taken the nurses assistance before kicking her out. Finally, after a few more moments of struggle, she succeeded in lowering her gown and James tentatively latched onto one nipple.

"That's it. Finally, something is going the way it should. You need to drink if you're going to be strong like your daddy is—I mean like your daddy was. " She said to the baby as a few tears ran down her cheeks.

"Everything is going to be great from now on. We'll be home soon. You will like your nursery. Your daddy painted the room yellow the day before we left. There's also a big starship painted on the wall now. Your big Brother Sam helped. That's why it looks a little weird. It's just the three of us now. That's okay. Everything is okay. Everything will be wonderful once we get back to Earth." Winona said with a watery smile before she completely broke down.

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><p>AN: Let me know what you think.


	2. Nice Day to Start Again

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter.

The title comes from a line from in the song White Wedding by Billy Idol

Special thank you to Merklin for looking over this chapter.

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><p><strong>Part two: Nice Day to Start Again.<strong>

A four-year-old Jimmy sat on the sofa fidgeting with his tiny suit. Sam was getting ready with the other men but Jimmy refused to leave her side, much to her wedding planner's dismay. Winona personally found it miraculous that it was still on at all. Even at four, little Jimmy had a tendency for nudity and all sorts of other mischief. It was hard for her to be upset with his cute smile and brilliant eyes. He was definitely a charmer, just like George. Her favorite preschooler already had a tendency to flirt with every little girl on the playground. Actually, she's pretty sure that her baby boy was flirting with some of the boys too. She thought it was adorable even if her fiancé, Frank, said certain unpleasant things about it.

In less than 25 minutes, Winona would be married to her boyfriend of 10 months. She told herself this was a good thing even if it hurt her, in a way, to think of herself as anyone's wife other than the true love of her life. However, he was gone, and her boys needed a father. Sam was completely out of control with his tendency to run away all the time, and Jim was halfway there if the incident three weeks ago on the playground was any indication. Jim punched out an older boy that called him "orphaned boy". At least that's what her sister told her about the incident. She was in space at the time.

Being a single parent was hard emotionally and financially. Before the incident that changed her entire life, she was going to become a stay at home mom and do occasional consultant work, while her husband stayed in space. After his death, she no longer had that option. She still hadn't received a dime from Starfleet related to the settlement from the Kelvin incident. Because Starfleet was dragging their feet in relation to the settlement, it wasn't until two years ago that she started receiving death benefits at all. 1500 credits a month barely paid for the necessities of life, let alone anything else, in a place like San Francisco. Trying to get a planet-based engineering job was extremely difficult. To provide for her boys, she quickly discovered that she had to go back into space at least part of the year. Private school for gifted four-year-olds was expensive.

Now, by marrying Frank, she could stay home more. He could run the family farm, and she could take the occasional consulting job at the new shipyard. It was the perfect solution.

Frank was a good man, mostly, even if he did sometimes become angry for no reason. His family owned the farm down the road from the farm owned by the Kirk family until some financial issues forced the family to sell. She didn't know all the details because both she and George were off planet at the time, and Grandmother Kirk doesn't believe in gossiping. It must not have been that horrible of a situation because George's mother hired Frank to help take care of the farm. He even stayed on after her death last year.

She and Frank became friends over time. It was bound to happen because he was always around when she would visit Iowa. It was easy to talk to him because he didn't remind her of George. He was the complete opposite personality-wise. He was one of the few people who didn't bring up her dead husband all the time. He was the first guy she dated after George died.

It wasn't perfect, but she wasn't expecting perfect. Not that many guys were that interested in a woman with two children who were notorious troublemakers. Perfect was George taking her out for a picnic on the quad in between classes. Perfect was him sending her hand-written love notes.

Now her dating life consisted of going to Chuck E. Cheese's with her boyfriend and keeping her eight-year-old from throwing basketballs at her four-year-old. The boys had issues and Sam really didn't like his brother that well. Maybe Frank yelled at Sam a little too much during these incidents, but sometimes she felt the same way. She had the sudden urge to scream right now with Jimmy now taking off his suit jacket along with the bow tie that took forever to get on him in the first place.

"Put your jacket back on right now." She said using her best mom voice.

"Why?" Jimmy asked with an innocent smile.

"Because you're the ring boy. Remember we practiced yesterday. You need your jacket to do that." Winona said as she tried to put the jacket back on but Jim pushed her away.

"I don't want to be the ring boy." He said in the whiniest voice possible.

"Are you sure? I'm getting married in 10 minutes and I really want you there." She said trying to reason with her child. She should know by now that this is a completely fruitless exercise. She can already tell that James is as stubborn as she is.

"I don't wanna go." James punctuated this by kicking one of his dress shoes across the room.

"Don't do that." She chided him as she went to pick up his shoe. That's when she was attacked by another baby shoe. She wondered if she could fit in a timeout before she had to walk down the aisle.

"Okay fine. If you don't want to go, you can stay back here. Although if you stay back here, you won't get to be in any of the pictures for the wedding." She said, knowing her son liked being the center of attention and would not like that.

"That's okay." He said not looking at her. She knew that his resolve was weakening.

"That also means no reception." She added.

"I don't like broccoli anyway." Jim said sticking out his tongue in disgust as he referred to the broccoli salad that would be served with the entrée. Considering their budget, the menu for this wedding was extraordinary. That was because her sister owned a catering company and was giving her a good discount as her wedding present even if her sister didn't like Frank.

She was 90% sure her sister hated Frank, but she was looking forward to not having the kids stay with her when Winona was working off planet. There may have been an unfortunate incident involving James, chocolate gonosh, and a white sofa at her sister's house recently. Not good.

"Yes, but you also won't get to have one of the chocolate bar party favors." She said with a mischievous smile as Jim's eyes lit up before he became angry once more.

"I don't like chocolate." Jim said kicking his bare feet back and forth. She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. Jim loved chocolate as long as it was real chocolate and did not contain nuts. His allergies drove her crazy.

"I guess that's a good thing because your aunt is making all sorts of little chocolate desserts, including that chocolate raspberry tart you like so much." Judging by the look on his face, she could tell that he was becoming less resistant to the idea.

"Still not worth it." He said.

"I guess there'll be no wedding cake for you." She said as she walked to the door pretending to leave. Just as expected, Jim was off the couch, falling behind her in under 2 seconds.

"You don't have to go either." James said as he literally grabbed onto the skirt of her silver wedding gown. She had a sneaking suspicion that there would be tear tracks running down the material. "I don't want you to get married."

"Baby, it's going to be okay. This is a good thing. Just because I'm getting married doesn't mean I love you any less. Actually, I will be able to spend more time with you. This means that you'll have two parents around instead of just your Aunt Sarah. You get to stay in Iowa year round. You like the farm." James gave her a funny look at that moment.

"Okay you like the horses at the farm. This is a great thing. Everything is going to be wonderful now." She said with a smile that even she felt was fake.

"I don't want a new dad." James said with more tears. At least he wasn't kicking and screaming yet. Winona was personally hoping that he had outgrown that stage, but knew better.

"Nobody is ever going to replace your father, but he's gone. Your dad told me that if anything happened to him he wanted me to move on. He wanted us to be happy."

"Are you happy?" Jim asked her still crying a little. She stayed silent for a moment at his question. What was happy? That was a relative term now. She hadn't really been happy since George died.

"I'm content." She said after a moment as she moved to grab a tissue to wipe away her baby boy's tears. This was going to make for some wonderful wedding pictures, she thought sardonically.

"I don't like Frank."

"That's not what you said a few weeks ago." She replied.

"I changed my mind. He's mean."

"He's not mean. He just won't let you get away with everything. Even if you don't like him, I like him." Winona said defending her fiancé.

"Do you love him liked you loved daddy?" She didn't like when people asked her that question. The real answer was no, she didn't love him. At least, not the way she loved George. George was that real once-in-a-lifetime love. George was her best friend and the love of her life. She knew she would never find that again, so she didn't expect it with Frank.

"I like Frank. He's good to me and to you. Don't you remember all the toys he bought you for your birthday?" Jim nodded with his arms crossed over his chest, still pouting. "But I don't feel the same way about him as I did your father. I don't think I ever could. It's impossible to find that type of heart-stopping, sweep-you-off-your-feet real love twice in a lifetime. You're lucky if you find it once, baby. But I hope you do find it. However, that doesn't mean that Frank won't be good for us. Things will be wonderful, now." James gave her a strange look as if he didn't believe her. That was okay; she wasn't sure if she believed her.

"Let me put your clothes back on, and we will be ready to go." She said bending down.

"Can I have a raspberry tart?" He asked with innocent eyes.

"As soon as the ceremony is over." She said with a sigh of relief.

To be continued

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><p><strong>Special note regarding updates on all my stories:<strong> On 6/24, on the way to work, I was hit by a van that ran a red light. I survive with minor broken bones and bruises in very fun places. I'm currently going through physical therapy to help with walking. I am now able to walk around my house with a walker, so that is a great improvement. Because of the way I write, some chapters are already done that just need to be edited. I will work on these chapters during my recovery, as my body will let me. However, do not expect regular updates because I physically cannot do it right now.

After this experience the most important thing I want to say to everyone is pleased obey the traffic laws and don't distract yourself with your cell phone or other things. I do realize how fortunate I am not to be dead right now.


	3. Love The Way You Lie

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. Thank you for all your kind wishes regarding my recovery. At present, I am able to walk around some with the help of a walker or a cane. I'm also able to go down stairs now, so I am no longer trapped in my apartment.

**Warning: Mentions of domestic violence, child abuse, substance abuse, and sexual assault.**

Thank you to Teddy Bear for reviewing this. All remaining mistakes are mine or the voice recognition software's.

The title comes from the Eminem song of the same name

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><p><strong>Part three: Love The Way You Lie<strong>

A 12-year-old Jim Kirk sat on the bed in the barren room with eyes shut, wishing he was anywhere but there. He refused to think of the bed and room he was currently utilizing as his. Not that it was really a bed anyway, but rather a cot. His bedroom was in a farmhouse in Iowa filled with posters of the constitution class starships that they would be building at the ship yard down the road. Jim doubted he would ever get to see that room again. Frank threatened to burn the entire house down if Jim or his mother tried to leave, possibly with the two inside it.

Sam had the good sense to get out of there a year ago after one of Frank's beatings went too far. Unfortunately, he didn't feel the need to take Jim with him. That left Jim, to face the abuse alone. At least his mother cared enough to take him with her when she finally got enough strength to get the hell out of there and away from Frank.

Three nights ago, things came to a head, when Frank refused to take 'not tonight' as an answer. Jim could hear his mother's cries of 'no' from his bedroom. He could still hear it in his mind now and remember that he did nothing until he heard a loud crash from her room. His mom was covered in blood and bruises with her nightgown torn apart in various places. He may just be 12 but Jim was pretty sure Frank just tried to rape his own wife. The key word was 'try', because Frank was unconscious on the bedroom floor with Grandma Kirk's now broke an antique lamp sitting beside him.

"We're leaving." His mother said in pure desperation as she already started throwing things in a bag.

"What?" Jim asked in a near daze.

He heard her say that before in the last year but she was never really serious. Before they were even out the door Frank would convince her to stay by apologizing for whomever he smacked around and promising never to do it again. Usually he would blame it on the alcohol or whatever drug he consumed. Sometimes he would promise to go to rehab but his promises were always empty. He never stayed sober for more than a day or two. There would always be new bruises before the old ones were completely faded.

"Take everything you can't live without and make it quick. I don't know how long he will stay unconscious. We are not coming back. Everything will be good once were safe. We just need to get out of here." His mother said choking back tears. She quickly removed a few of the floorboards to reveal what was apparently her emergency 'get the hell away from Frank' kit, complete with clothing and hard credit chips.

Jim didn't believe she was serious about leaving but he still managed to pack a bag in 2 minutes flat. He also had the good sense to grab his stash of birthday money that was carefully hidden where Frank couldn't find it and Grandpa Tiberius' antique coin collection, just in case.

They were currently hiding out three states over at My Sister's Place and Jim was not talking about at Sarah's house. Aunt Sarah's house would be too dangerous because Frank knew where she lived even though she did offer, once Winona finally told her the truth. Jim was not even sure she knew what was going on with Frank any way until that tear filled confession. Then again, no one knew what was going on really. Jim was good at hiding the bruises and giving everyone award winning non-answers that would confuse the best.

Jim was good at smiling when he wanted to cry. It was a skill well crafted over the years. His friends had no idea that he spent so much time at their houses because he just didn't want to go home. Aunt Sarah, his friends, and even his teachers had no idea that Frank has been using him as his own personal punching bag for the last six years. He was good at keeping it a secret.

Frank didn't start beating him until he was six years old and his mom took an off planet assignment because they needed the money. Now Jim is pretty sure they needed the money because of Frank's drug problem and not because the crops failed that year. Between his father's pension and his mother's consultant job, they should have just had enough money to get by without profits from the farm. The farm would have probably been profitable if Frank was not drunk or stoned all the time anyway.

His mom had no idea what her husband was doing to him and Sam until she also became the victim as well a year ago, when she took an on planet assignment after Sam ran away. She knew about the drinking and maybe the drugs before she moved back permanently but nothing else. Jim never told her about Frank hitting him. He told her about Frank being mean but she would always make excuses for him. Therefore, Jim just didn't feel like telling her the details.

As Jim became lost in his memories of the last few years, his mom walked into their shared room. She looked better even if she still looked emotionally drained. The doctor at the facility managed to heal the physical damage including the broken jaw and hand. The emotional damage may never be undone.

"Jimmy, go ahead and pack your things we'll be leaving in the morning." Her words automatically filled him with dread. He knew they were going back. Frank probably found her again and told her whatever lie necessary to get her to forgive him. They were never going to get out.

"We're going back?" Jim asked almost shaking. There was no way in hell Jim was going back, he decided at that moment. She could kid herself but he would not. Frank was never going to change and Jim wasn't going back there, just to end up in a body bag. He would sell off his coin collection and use it for a one-way ticket to Aunt Sarah's house in San Francisco first.

"No. I promise we will never go back there again. He's in jail. I pressed charges this morning. He's not getting out for a while with the dozens of counts against him including attempted sexual assault." She didn't look at Jim when she said the last part. This told Jim that she didn't believe that Frank would actually be punished for what he did. Frank had many friends on the Riverside police force otherwise; he would have been arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct at least two dozen times at the very least.

"Good because I wouldn't be coming with you if you were." Jim said with defiant honesty. "Are we going to Aunt Sarah's?" Jim asked wanting to get out of the shelter. He hated this place.

"Nope." She said as she sat next to him on the narrow bed. "I'm taking a new assignment with the Starfleet Core of Engineers for three years. I'm going to help develop the info structured on a new colony." She almost sounded happy. She had to be delusional again. Jim wanted to scream. Nothing about the situation was happy. At least she wouldn't be dumping him with Frank again. That was the only bright spot.

"So where will I be going? Sarah's house, or boarding school?" Jim asked knowing in his heart that both suggestions would be preferable. Actually, juvenile detention would be preferable to before.

"No, you're coming with me. Leaving you behind with Frank or anyone else was my first mistake. I should have brought you and Sam with me. Those rules about kids not living on starships are absolute bull s—are completely ridiculous. However, now that you're 12 and I am in the middle of a messy divorce the rules are a little bit more flexible. You can come with me on this mission." Jim was happy that at least he wasn't being left behind but he wasn't sure if he wanted to leave Riverside completely. He never wanted to see Frank again but he missed his house and his bedroom. He missed his friends as well as Jason because the guy was hot. Not that Jim had a crush on Jason or anything because he also thought Sasha from the same class was just as gorgeous. Jason was just cool.

Yet, Jim wondered if he could really go back to Riverside anyway. He could see Frank making good on his threats to kill both of them. Maybe that was the real reason why his mom was taking a job in the middle of nowhere. Why should he leave his life behind just to stay away from Frank? Jim wished his mom listened to him when he was four years old and never married Frank in the first place. Their life has been anything but wonderful since the wedding.

"Where are we going?" Maybe he could come back and visit every once in awhile or spend summers with Aunt Sarah, Jim thought as he tried to stay positive.

"Tarsus IV" There goes that idea. Jim thought to himself when he realized that the place was a three-month ride one way at the very least.

"Don't look so disappointed. I know you will miss your friends but it will only be for a couple years. This is a good thing. Everything will be wonderful now that we're moving to Tarsus VI. It's for the best." Jim wasn't so sure. He didn't say anything as his mother tried to smile through her tears.

To be continued


	4. I Seen a Rainbow Yesterday

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter.

I'm doing a lot better and I am back at work.

Warnings: mentions of sexual assault, genocide, and alcoholism.

In this story the events of Tarses IV are a bit different than in the prime reality because this is an alternate universe and I love exploring the butterfly effect.

**Title comes from the TLC song Waterfalls**

I seen a rainbow yesterday but too many storms have come and gone  
>Leaving a trace of not one God giving ray<br>Is it because my life is ten shades of gray?

Part four: I Seen a Rainbow Yesterday

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><p>Life is filled with many storms and little sunshine with few rainbows in between. Winona Kirk discovered that a long time ago when she became a widow before her 30th birthday because of a technologically advanced ship that was never seen from again. Then again most of her life was filled with rainsorrow enough that she got into the habit of saying everything was 'wonderful', when it wasn't.

She married a man she thought was a good person to serve as the father to her young boys and help take the loneliness away. Instead, she became a statistic: the battered wife who continually made excuses for her husband beating the hell out of her. It took her over a year to realize she needed to get out of there, when he tries to rape her again. This time she fights back because she is tired of being his victim. When she does finally leave, she ends up with her youngest child on a planet in the middle of genocide. Both she and Jimmy watched their friends and neighbors either be butchered by the protection forces or sent off to the gas chambers.

As one of the scientist/engineers responsible for the infrastructure of the colony that led to the population explosion and supposedly to the subsequent famine, she was slated for the first round of executions, but the lunatic in charge found her pleasing. To keep her and her son alive all she had to do was sleep with him. By the Federation definition of the term, it was still sexual assault even if she did not fight back, usually. The one time she did Jimmy was beaten within an inch of death in front of her. She doesn't tell Jim that everything will be wonderful this time because she knows it won't be. The situation was too dire for her to lie to him. Winona didn't resist her capture again until the day she slit his throat in his sleep. Lucky for her that was the day the other Starfleet officials finally arrived to the planet.

It was a little too late by that point, she thinks to herself. 71% of the planet's peak population of 17,250 people were dead either by execution, dismemberment, disease, or starvation. As for the rest, can you really be called a survivor when your mental scars are greater than any physical ones marring your body? She and Jim spent three months in a Starfleet rehabilitation center before moving back to Riverside.

She only moved back because she knew Frank wouldn't bother her again if she did. The only good thing that happened during her time on the planet of the damned was Frank being murdered in prison. Men who nearly killed their stepchildren and rape their wife were considered the lowest of low and one day Frank pissed off the wrong person.

Starfleet gives her a medal and early retirement for her actions on Tarsus IV. Nearly eight years later, she still sees a psychologist four times a week. She wished Jimmy would go too, but he refuses claiming that he has no need to see a psychologist because nothing is wrong with him. Winona knows that is not true.

Despite all of his potential, he was just drifting through life. Her son with a genius level IQ worked in construction and got into bar fights at least twice a week. She was getting really tired of getting him out of jail on a weekly basis. His college fund was starting to become his bail money fund. She is okay with this because she would rather pick up her son from jail than the morgue. It didn't matter to Jim because he was never planning on going to school or at least that's what he claimed. It's hard to believe him when she keeps finding him reading scientific journals on his PADD occasionally. She knows that working in construction is a waste of his talents.

Her son is also a functioning alcoholic with a severe eating disorder and more issues than her. He hides food everywhere in his apartment and keeps rations in his bike just in case. Winona knows he has nightmares about what happened on Tarsus and with Frank.

She is also pretty sure he's a sex addict as well but she is not entirely sure. In high school, she knew that he was with a different boy or girl almost every day of the week. She tried to put a stop to it instead, he just moved out. She didn't know anything about his more current sexual activities until recently.

She is worried that Jimmy will end up just like Sam. Every time Winona gets a call from the police, she wonders if it's going to be another call telling her to come down to identify her son's body. Sam died four years ago of a heroin overdose. Her greatest fear was that Jimmy would end up the same way.

Then three months ago, something changed and she began to hope that maybe things this time will actually turn out wonderful. During his nightly drinking 'ritual', her son met a Starfleet cadet named Carol who was interning at the Riverside lab for the semester. It was infatuation at first sight.

Whatever was going on was obviously serious because Jim actually introduced Winona to the girl. She found her extremely pretentious but Winona was willing to get along with anyone who could get her son to cut down on his drinking and look at college catalogs.

Then tonight her son showed up on her doorstep actually crying and stone cold sober. Apparently, her initial feelings of uneasiness regarding Carol were not unfounded.

During her internship, Carol was working with the brand new compound that apparently deactivates any known form of contraception. Carol was now seven weeks pregnant with a male fetus. Instead of breaking the news to her son in person, the Bitch sends Jim an e-mail through her attorney.

In this message, Carol tells Jim that she wants nothing to do with him and is perfectly willing to go to court to terminate his parental rights and leave for a place he would never find her or his child again. As far as Carol was concerned, Jim will never get to see his son. In her letter, Carol says that Jim has too many problems to be a father.

"This is a wonderful thing." Winona said after processing Jim's words and reading the e-mail for herself. As far as Winona was concerned getting a grandchild, no matter what the circumstance, was a wonderful thing.

"Did you read the same e-mail I did? How can you think this is wonderful? The situation is anything but wonderful. I hate it when you are delusional like this. You tell me everything is wonderful and it's not. I stopped believing you a long time ago. Carol just told me that she is having my child and I won't get to be part of his life because I'm such a fuck up. This situation would have never happened if I just slept with men." Jim said with head in his hands. She was just glad he wasn't heading for the liquor cabinet.

"Children are always wonderful no matter the circumstances. It's a wonderful thing because she didn't have an abortion and she could have. It was probably a very tempting option for someone who got pregnant due to an experiment gone wrong. She doesn't want you to have anything to do with the child now but there is still the future." Winona said calmly.

"What future? She's not going to change her mind." Jim practically yelled this at her.

"There is no future for you if you keep on the path you're on now. Do you want to end up like Sam? Stop hiding in the bottle. Go to rehab. Go back to school and get a job that reflects your talents. You are more than just muscle. As we have all learned firsthand, an alcoholic with his own demons makes a bad father figure. Maybe this is a wonderful thing because you want to be a dad to this child. For the first time in years, you want something other than your next drink or fuck. You wouldn't be crying in my kitchen if that wasn't the case." Winona said sympathetically as she put a hand on his shoulder. Unfortunately, he just pushed her away.

"Thanks for listening mom. I'll see you later." Jim told her, getting up from the table.

"Where are you going?" Winona asked.

"Out, I don't have to tell you everything. I am not a little kid anymore. I have a kid on the way even if I will never see him." He said walking out of the old farmhouse. She was 98% sure, she knew where he was going.

"No you're not." She whispered to the now closed door as she grabbed her communicator.

"Hey Chris. This is Winona. My sister told me that you were in town for a few days in a misguided attempt to get me dating again." She said in irritation as she heard Chris laugh on the other side of the line.

They have known each other for years since they served on the same ship during his academy time. That's why he decided to do his dissertation on the worst moment of her life. However, her sister was crazy if she thought Winona would date ever again, after everything.

"I seriously doubt that would work. I also doubt that's why you are calling." He told her still laughing.

"You know me so well. Look, I need a favor. It's about Jimmy. Chris you need to congratulate me. I'm going to be a grandmother."

To be continued


	5. Breaking the Habit

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. My recovery is going good. I'm back at work full time now and I am using my cane less.

In response to an anonymous review on the last chapter, if I have to choose between artistic vision and grammatical correctness, I choose art every time. Music has its own grammar as well as syntax. If you found something written by a woman who died nearly 9 years ago grammatically offensive, never read the lyrics to any song by Prince or the poetry of Langston Hughes for that matter.

The title was inspired by the Linkin Park song by the same name

* * *

><p><strong>Part five: Breaking the Habit<strong>

Like much of the universe, she watched the news feeds with bated breath as they all learned of the destruction of Vulcan and the genocide of six billion people. If she thought what she saw on Tarsus was disgusting, this was its own level of disturbing the likes of which the Federation had not yet seen. Most of the people of Earth did not know how close they came to ending up exactly like Vulcan that day, even with the images of a giant drill coming down on the lawn of Starfleet Academy. The Federation was very good at spinning things even in dire circumstances such as these.

She knew though and not just because her son was one of those responsible for making sure she and the rest of the planet were still breathing. She is thankful that she had no idea her son was part of the crew of early graduates sent to assist with the situation on Vulcan until after the fact. Chris told her immediately about the antics involving the Kobayashi Maru and her son's pending academic probation. Like everyone else, she just assumed that he was safely on earth like he was supposed to be. Silly her, this was her son she was talking about. She was just getting used to not worrying about Jim dying of alcohol poisoning, now she had to worry about him doing stupid things like space jumping onto shaking planets and getting into fistfights with those responsible for her widowhood.

Jim wouldn't tell her anything anyway because if she taught him nothing else, it was that classified information needed to stay classified. In addition, he probably didn't want to worry her about certain details even if she still had her security clearance despite retirement. She was very sure Jim didn't want her to know how close he came to death during that mission.

She didn't need her son to tell her anything, she had other means. She found out most of the dirty details, including her son's suicide mission with the 'cute Vulcan' that her son talks about just a little too much, when she was called in to Starfleet for a special meeting regarding the events. Initially, she assumed that she was receiving a courtesy briefing due to the connection between what happened to Vulcan and her husband's death. Later on, she thought that she was called in because of her son's role in what happened after she learned about his involvement. Instead, she was asked to head up the task force in charge of building the new colony that would become the home of the remaining Vulcan population.

She was absolutely shocked by the offer. Apparently, her years as a consultant post Starfleet and her time working on a colony that she does not want to talk about made her the preferred candidate. She personally thinks this is Starfleet's way of making sure she doesn't voice her anger over the fact that if Starfleet spent more time trying to catch those responsible for George's death than fighting her on death benefits relating to it, maybe there would still be a Vulcan.

She said no until she heard everything, because even though she's grateful for Starfleet helping her son get his head together she is not sure she wants to work for the organization again. If she was not a trained Starfleet Officer she probably would have collapsed when she found out how close her son and most of earth came to dying. They felt she had a need to know anyway because the ship responsible for destroying Vulcan and almost destroying earth was also the ship that made her a widow. Apparently, her initial thoughts about this briefing weren't that far off.

She personally wished that they never told her anything. She also knows that they didn't tell her everything because during her 20 year career with Starfleet, she learned that they never do. This conclusion was reinforced after her first conversation with Jim post incident where he kept shaking and refused to make eye contact. Actually, he spent more time discussing the broken expression on his colleague's face when he was unable to save his own mother as well as how much he blames himself for that loss because he wasn't fast enough on a certain drill.

She wondered if Jim was having nightmares again. He did right after Tarsus. Every night in his mind, right after they got back to earth, he tried to save her and everyone else from the torture of that place. Would Jim fill guilty about not being quick enough on the drill or having the good sense to take the charges away from the other guy with him? Survivor's guilt is a wonderful thing sometimes. Even now she sometimes wondered if she spoke up about her concerns regarding not creating a contingency plan to feed the planet population in case of a major environmental disaster, maybe they wouldn't have had to have buried so many on Tarsus. Winona hopes to various things in the universe that her Jimmy will actually talk about his problems this time instead of keeping everything bottled inside.

The casualty count for this massacre is massive. Billions of Vulcans and thousands of Starfleet personnel now gone. She knows a few of the cadets from parent weekends and visiting her son on campus whenever he would let her. Most of the cadets were actually younger than her son. Her good friend, who she has known for nearly two decades, was paralyzed from the waist down. Even with all the technology in the universe there was only a 24.3% chance that he would be able to walk on his own without assistance.

Of course, the most personal casualty of all is that the mother of her grandson is dead. She never liked Carol. Winona thought she was an absolute bitch for how hard she tried to keep Jim and her away from David. Since his birth two and a half years ago, Winona has seen her grandchild three times, two of which have occurred since the death of the child's mother. One of those occasions was at Carol's funeral. Jim has only seen his son a few more times, all of those times were court supervised and only occurred after two years of litigation.

Winona does not even want to talk about the crazy things that Carol has made up in court. She actually used everything that happened with Frank against Winona when she petitioned the courts for grandparent visitation rights. Even though she didn't like the woman at all, no child deserved to lose a parent like that.

Yet in the middle of all this chaos, there were still some good things. One of which was her son being promoted to the position of Captain straight out of the academy. Jim wasn't the same person he was three years ago. For the first time in his life, he had a real purpose. Winona was not entirely sure if that purpose was becoming captain of Enterprise or getting custody of his son (or at least regular visitation) but it didn't matter. He stopped drinking. His campus sex adventures were so legendary that she even heard rumors about it from former colleagues who were now stationed at the academy. Although, compared to some of the things before he was in the academy this was comparatively mild. (Jim's 'adventures' now mostly skewed male or non human female as a side effect of 'the Carol fiasco')

Even though Carol's parents still despise Jim, a guy who earns the Captain's seat of the federation's flagship before he turns 26 deserves to at least have visitation rights if not full custody of his child. (She's not sure if the job offer is a good thing yet because she's not sure if she will take it despite the flattery. The situation with David complicates things.)

Of course Winona made the mistake of telling James that things were wonderful right now despite how screwed up everything was at the reception celebrating the start of the Enterprise's first official mission the next day. This led to her son quickly pulling her in to a secluded location for a very private conversation with raised voices.

"How can you think anything can possibly be wonderful right now?" Jim practically screamed at her as soon as they were away from prying eyes. "Things are so fucked up that I need all my willpower to stay away from the champagne table. Sometimes, I really think you need to go back up to four sessions a week. You're obviously delusional again."

"I thought you didn't believe in no win scenarios. No situation is hopeless. Something good can still come out of this." She said trying to explain her point.

"Eventually, maybe. Things are anything but wonderful right now. 80% of my graduating class is dead. The mother of my son is dead and yet I'm still not considered good enough to take care of him even if I'm supposed to become the youngest Starfleet captain in history. Actually, I couldn't even speak to my son at his mother's funeral without being stalked by her parents.

On top of this, allegedly, I'm supposed to have this life altering 'relationship' with somebody who completely hates my guts at the moment. I have the bruises to prove it. He would not even let me apologize for saying something stupid about his mother for the sake of preventing us from all ending up dead. He also has a girlfriend that absolutely despises me, so whenever was originally supposed to happen, obviously isn't because the universe hates me. Did I mention he is abandoning me to help you play 'let's create a new colony' part two. Let's hope crazy people who idolize Hitler are not in charge this time. Oh yes mom, things are absolutely wonderful." James said as he finished his sparkling cider and threw the empty glass at the door. Luckily, it was plastic.

"I really don't need the sarcasm from you young man or your anger." She said picking up the glass from the floor. "Be happy this is plastic. Just because you technically outrank me now, doesn't mean you have any right to talk to me like that. Why do you think you're supposed to have a life altering friendship with Spock?" She asked that last part in puzzlement, confused about James earlier statement.

"I can't tell you, it's classified." Normally she would think James was just avoiding the subject at hand but considering recent events, the explanation may very well be classified. For all she knew her son ran into an alternate version of Spock from the other dimension where her husband's murderer came from. Come to think of it Elder Selek, a member of the ad hoc planning committee for the new colony, knows her just a little too well down to the fact she prefers honey to sugar in her tea. He even looks like he could be Mr. Spock's grandfather.

"How do you know I was talking about Spock?" Jim asked. She would tell her son that he was displaying all the classic signs of having a crush including being jealous of the girlfriend, but this wasn't the time or place.

"It's a mother thing. You and I both know things are pretty dark right now but it will get better. You have to believe that. Every time I told you that things were wonderful when they were anything but, was my way of making sure that you never believed a situation was completely hopeless. Nothing is impossible." She explained.

"I know that." Jim responded.

"You have to believe it now. I'm not taking the job to help with the new colony." She said with a sigh.

"What? That is your dream job." He asked in near shock.

"No, it's not. There is something more important I need to do. I have been speaking with a lawyer that's specializes in crazy custody cases. Despite some of the things that happened in the past, if I stay on planet she believes I have a good chance of getting full custody of David especially considering Carol's parents don't want to take care of him, they just don't want you to. I wish you could have custody of David but we both know that is not going to happen for a while because of you know who. Maybe if you're well behaved in space during your current mission by the time you get back David can live with you." Winona said as she played with the empty glass in her hand. Jim was smiling.

"That's great. If you have custody, you will let me see him every time I have a shore leave and will let him come visit me in space. Actually, you will at least let me talk to him on the Comm. Why are you doing this?" Jim asked as the smile left his face.

"Because I should have did it the first time around." She said, not looking at him. "Let's get out of here. Do you know anywhere around here that has ice cream?"

"You're actually encouraging me to ditch my own party?" He asked with fake innocence.

"Yes, I am. The most important thing you need to know about Starfleet ceremonies is to get in and get out as quickly as possible. I could use a banana split, my treat." Even at 25, Jim could easily be bribed with sweets.

"Fine, I want chocolate raspberry swirl." Jim said, following behind her.

"Did I ever tell you the story about what happened when I first met your father?" Winona said as the door opened.

"No, every time I asked you would start tearing up." James answered honestly.

"I'm sorry about that. It was too hard to remember the good times back then."

"It's okay. I understand. I always assumed it was love at first sight." She laughed at that. If only he knew.

"More like deep seated hatred."

"You're kidding?"

"Not really. I actually kicked him in his special place the first time we met. Fortunately, it did not prevent us from having you and your brother after I stopped loathing the ground he walked on. That right there is why I believe every situation has the potential to be wonderful."

To be concluded.


	6. For a Woman, It Ain't Easy Trying

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. This is the final chapter of Wonderful. I really enjoyed writing this story because it gave me something to do during my incapacitation. The chapters were just the perfect length. Don't worry I have lots of things planned including finishing up S_tarfleet Family Values_ and _Dear Spock_ now that I am getting better. I'm also planning on starting a story that will be a follow-up to _You Don't Have to Be My Boyfriend_ but it won't be the promise sequel. It's more of the bridge between the two major arcs. I will begin on that as soon as I finish my High School Musical story that I've been working on for more than two years. There's even a possibility for a follow-up to this story if there is a desire for it.

I'm not sure how old Pike is supposed to be but I'm assuming probably just a few years younger than Winona.

Warning: sexual dialogue

The title of this chapter comes from the song Dear Mama by Tupac Shakur

I finally understand  
>for a woman it ain't easy tryin to raise a man<br>You always was committed  
>A poor single mother on welfare, tell me how ya did it<br>There's no way I can pay you back  
>But the plan is to show you that I understand<br>You are appreciated

**Part six: For a Woman, It Ain't Easy Trying to Raise a Man**

Jim Kirk hated packing. He was good at it due to too much practice, but he still hated it. Jim will never forget packing up the entire contents of his bedroom in less than 2 minutes the night he and his mother ran away from Frank nearly 20 years ago. He will also never forget watching others pack up his few meager personal things not stolen by the protection forces and getting the hell off of Tarsus IV. That was one of the few times he didn't have to take care of it himself pre-Starfleet. Let's just say he was not healthy enough to pack his own things and leave it at that. He could not even handle solid food at the time, let alone throwing his junk in a bag.

Jim despised packing so much that he did not even bother with it when he decided to join Starfleet after Pike mysteriously showed up at that bar the night that Carol told him via e-mail that he was going to have a kid he was never going to see. In hindsight, he now knows Pike being there was not random, neither was his challenge. Jim knew his mother had something to do with it because even when he didn't realize it she was always looking out for him. At 22, he would have been pissed. At 32, he was grateful for her actions.

If it wasn't for his mother and finding his way to Starfleet, Jim probably would not have lived long enough to see David's ninth birthday let alone be there to celebrate it. Jim and Spock now have joint custody of David with his mother, Winona, even if David primarily lived with his grandmother except for two years ago when David lived with Jim and Spock when they were stationed on Earth for nine months.

Nearly seven years later, his mom still called the colony home even though she was going to turn down the job originally. A certain sneaky Vulcan from another dimension worked his magic to manipulate things so that Winona could only get custody of David if she moved to the new colony to help with the development. Apparently, every colony needs someone like Winona Kirk to ensure that the population doesn't get wiped out due to famine, insane terrorists from other dimensions, or lack of sex. (No one wants to find out from their mother that their first officer, who they are hopelessly in love with even if the other guy doesn't know it, has a biological imperative to essentially fuck or die. Jim is convinced he was told this information as phase one of David's special project entitled 'get a Vulcan step daddy'. David gets his wish less than a year later under special circumstances involving a 'cultural misunderstanding'. That is all Jim is going to say on that.)

After nearly 7 years, there are some things about Starfleet Jim hates including Admirals who are idiots, fraternization policies that are completely illogical, and spending 80% of his son's childhood light years away. Every time he misses a birthday or other important moment in his son's life Jim feels completely worthless. (Jim should be happy that Vulcan schools do not have holiday pageants or recitals, otherwise, he would be beating himself up even more than he already does.) As he watches the video file of the special moment that was always sent to him, he cries, throws things, starts looking for a job planet side, or desperately tries to find a loophole in Starfleet's policy regarding children on starships. After seven years of trying, he only found one and it won't work until David is at least 12 and can pass the Starfleet entrance exam. Usually Jim comes out of this rage filled depression after quality NC-17 'Spock time' and coming to the realization if it wasn't for Starfleet he wouldn't be the type of person who he would want around his son. This usually prevents him from turning in his transfer papers.

At least he tells himself that he can talk to David anytime he wants. If Carol was still around, he probably would only be able to send a birthday card through his attorney like the first two years. It would be worse than what Bones goes through with his ex wife. No child deserves that.

The most recent 'I am missing my child growing up' pity party was avoided because of Spock conspiring with his father to make sure David was on Enterprise for his ninth birthday. Really like any one was going to say no to an ambassador wanting to bring his grandson (there is no word in Vulcan culture for step grandchild or stepson, for that matter) along on a peaceful diplomatic mission, especially when said grandson is also the child of the captain.

The reason why Jim is packing right now against his own free will was they would be at the Vulcan colony in less than 24 hours and for the first time it wasn't for something like 'celebrating' the dedication of the memorial for all those lost the day Vulcan was destroyed or for some similar work related reason. Jim is convinced the Enterprise was assigned to the Vulcan colony so much (19 times in seven years) because Pike is wrapped around his mother's finger. Jim is okay with this because this means he gets to spend time with David in between the boring PR stuff and protecting the colony from various disgruntled factions. (A year ago, his mom and Pike finally stopped pretending to be 'just friends' and confessed that they were actually together despite the long distance thing. Jim was okay with this because Pike was not a dick.)

This time he was arriving on Vulcan of his own free will for shore leave to spend some time with David and his mother. Because this visit was completely non-work related (he hoped), his husband of three years, seven days, and 39 minutes felt it was a 'misuse of resources' for him to have his assistant pack his things. What's the point of being in charge, if you can't misuse resources every once in a while?

"Is it just me or does it seem strange that my mother lives in a giant house on the New Vulcan colony but your father lives on Earth?" Jim asked as he threw the last of his underwear in his suitcase. Unlike him, Spock finished packing 4.5 days ago and therefore he actually had free time at the moment.

"It seems perfectly logical considering my father is the Vulcan representative to Earth and to the Federation and therefore must reside on Earth 10 months out of the year. Your mother resides on New Vulcan because she is the civil engineer in charge of preparing the new colony for any sort of disaster. In addition, David prefers the Vulcan education system for reasons I do not comprehend. Unlike myself, he has found adequate companionship during adolescents in the form of T'Pan." Considering how miserable school was for Spock, Jim understood why his husband did not favor the system.

"That's because on New Vulcan being a genius is perfectly normal and he isn't treated like a freak because he's a nine year old that understands calculus. They also don't make fun of him because his mom died when he was a little kid. Almost everyone in his class lost a parent or a close relative the same day. That makes David perfectly normal. His best friend lost both parents that day." Jim stated calmly.

"No, he is only teased for being human." Spock said without looking at his husband obviously reliving his own past.

"That was only one moron who was just jealous because a certain human kicked his ass on every single exam that semester. The human thing is no longer that big of a deal. You have to remember it's a different planet now, literally. His best friend T'Pan has adopted human parents." Jim argued logically.

"Your argument is logical." This was Spock for "due to unfortunate personal experience, I do not necessarily believe you but I will not discuss this subject further."

"The real reason both David and your contemporaries sometimes were nasty about the human thing was because they were jealous. Just like my classmates I had who made fun of me for being different. I would have loved to work independently in a computerized learning environment away from stupid classmates and incompetent teachers. The only good teacher I had was in seventh grade. She would give me lots of 20th century poetry to read like Mother to Son and The Rose That Grew From Concrete. I see myself as that Rose now." Jim said as he got on the floor to look for his vintage Nikes. Of course, they were not under the bed.

"The kids at school were so nasty and made me feel worthless because I was 'orphaned boy' and I had a mom who wasn't there. Frank made it worse because he told me that mom wasn't there because she did not care."

"Yet that was untrue." Spock said calmly.

"She always cared even if she was on the other side of the universe; it just took me a while to understand why she had to leave. I know she left because she didn't have much of a choice. I didn't understand when I was seven but Starfleet was trying everything in their power to keep from paying death benefits to my mom. My mom actually thought she was working so hard to send me to some upscale private school. Instead, Frank was shooting up my tuition money and everything else we had. I get it now, 'for a woman it ain't easy trying to raise a man'. Jim said quoting something he read from long ago.

"The correct wording is 'it is not'." Spock said correcting his Grammar like he always did.

"That was a quote from a poem I read in school by the Rose guy. Actually, it may have been a song but I don't remember. The point is I now realize that it wasn't easy for her to raise me on her own. Sam and I were complete nightmares as children. I don't know how she survived our constant fighting and the crazy things we pulled. We managed to be banned for life from Chuck E. Cheese's. I only have David and sometimes I'm so overwhelmed. Fortunately, I have both you and mom. I am thankful for you." If he wasn't desperately searching for clothing, Jim is pretty sure he would have kissed Spock at that moment.

"As am I t'hy'la." Jim smiled at Spock before continuing.

"Everybody thinks I'm just like my dad but how can I be? I never met the man. At least David got to spend a few years with Carol, even though he will barely remember her. David will always have the video file of her singing happy birthday to him when he was one year old. I don't have that.

"I am my mother's son. She helped me become who I am today. Most people think I don't believe in no win scenarios because of my father but that couldn't be farther from the truth. My mother taught me that no situation is completely hopeless and that things will be better/wonderful eventually. There is always a way out. She showed me that with the Frank situation and the situation on that colony we do not talk about. She didn't give up. She found a way out. Maybe she didn't explain things the right way when I was younger, but I get it now." He understood her now even if Jim wished she would have said 'things would be wonderful someday' instead of saying they were wonderful now when the situation was completely fucked up. She figured it out eventually. Again, now that Jim was a parent he understood things better.

"Did I mention how much I hate packing?" Jim said in an effort to change the subject as he got up from the floor. That was enough of being sentimental for his taste and he didn't feel like crying today or ever.

"Multiple times." Spock said sharply from his perch overseeing everything.

"I can't find anything. I blame you." Jim said moving to the closet. "I still don't see why I can't have my yeoman take care of this. It is Betty's job to assist me." Jim said with a scowl as he tried to find his still missing vintage shoes along with the rest of his civilian things that Spock probably shoved all the way back in the closet because he's a neat freak. Actually, there was probably a good chance that some of that stuff went out an airlock. There was no way Jim was wearing his uniform on the colony. New Vulcan may be less hot then the original but it was still a sauna compared to Iowa in February. Really, Jim is surprised he never got a phone call telling him that his mother or son had succumbed to heat stroke.

"Yeoman Meade's main purpose is to assist you in doing the functions of your job. It is not part of her job to help you prepare for your vacation because of your usual procrastination. You would not be rushing around trying to pack up less than 5 hours before we disembarked to catch a shuttle to New Vulcan if you would have taken care of this two days ago when I scheduled time for such activities." Spock said, pointedly sitting at his desk doing who knows what on his PADD. Jim knew he was purposely not helping him as a punishment or possibly to prevent what happen last time. Two could play that game.

"You were not complaining when my mouth was on your co…" James started but he was cut off by his husband most likely to prevent Jim from winning the argument.

"If you are looking for your civilian clothes, they are in the storage unit at the bottom of the closet. I suggest bringing along light color clothing." Spock spoke without even looking up. Of course, Jim couldn't find anything because his OCD husband had put everything in its place. There was no way Jim was going to think a 10 cm by 10 cm storage unit contains his entire normal person wardrobe. He forgot that the contents were highly condensed.

"No, you cannot just throw the entire storage device in to your luggage." Spock chided again not looking up.

"You're no fun." Jim said as he expanded his wardrobe. He is personally surprised things were not exploding all over the place.

"That is not what you said last night when my tongue was circling your rect…" Spock started but he was cut off by the sound of the ship Communications System cutting on and Uhura popping on the screen.

"Do not finish that sentence. I really don't want to know about what you and my ex boyfriend do during your 'private time'." Nyota said laughing. He can call her that because they were friends now. It was easier for the two to become friends once they realized they both had very similar childhoods and Nyota discovered the true circumstances surrounding their first meeting. It was also easier for him not to hate her once her relationship with Spock ran its natural course.

"He is my husband now. Besides, I thought you two were essentially just FwB." Jim said walking over to Spock and placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I do not understand the acronym." Spock responded once Jim pulled away.

"You do not want such a three-week trip edification and to know. Captain, before you completely 'distract' yourself, you should know that Admiral Pike wishes to speak with you right away." Uhura said sharply.

"Why didn't you say that? Put it on down here." Jim said as he received dirty looks from both Uhura and Spock.

"Very well, captain." Nyota said as she disappeared from the screen, only to be replaced by his mother's boyfriend.

"Please tell me you're not canceling our shore leave due to somebody trying to blow somebody else up. I promised David I would teach him how to hack into the learning bowls to make the lessons more entertaining." Jim said now sitting next to Spock. Okay, actually he was sitting on top of the desk.

"I really did not need to know that. Spock, you're going to let your husband teach your son something illegal?" Pike asked joking.

"Pike, it was Spock's idea." Jim said snidely because it was the truth. Unfortunately, saying that just got him another angry Vulcan Glare. There goes any chance of post-packing sex.

"You'll be happy to know your shore leave will not be canceled. Fortunately, I will be there to keep you from doing stupid things like teaching your only child to be a felon or worst, exactly like you. That seems to be my major job function. You are enough to make anyone consider early retirement." The admiral said with an aggravated sigh.

"I thought preventing James from any such activity that would pose a danger to himself or others was the major function of my job." Spock said from his side.

"Most of the Admiralty would agree with you as well as Winona. Actually, Jim's Aunt Sarah would agree too. She is coming with me and can help keep Jim out of trouble." Pike remarked with a laugh.

"Aunt Sarah's coming? She is still mad at me because she did not get to cater the wedding of the century. I tried to explain to her that there was no actual wedding but she is still disappointed that we didn't have some sort of reception after the fact." Jim said almost whining.

"She'll get over it now that she has a new wedding to plan." This statement confuses Jim mostly because he doubts that this means what he wants it to mean.

"What are you talking about?" Jim asked hopefully.

"How would you feel about having an admiral for a stepfather?" Jim just let the question sink in for a moment as he felt Spock grab his hand.

"Welcome to the family dad. When did you pop the question?" Jim asked smiling.

"Tomorrow, when you get to the colony, I thought I would ask your permission first. Winona told me all about what happened last time." Jim was unbelievably touched at the gesture, but it was unnecessary.

"This isn't last time. This time it's real. You don't need my permission. I actually like you. You are a good person and have known my mom for a really long time. This is a wonderful thing." For the first time in his entire life, Jim use the term without sarcasm.

XXX

"I'm so glad you're here." Winona said, as she grabbed her son, as he walked into her house. She hated that he was gone so often, even with all the special projects that Enterprise has handled on the colony. She was glad that he would be around for the next few weeks. She even hugged her son in law who finally got used to being hugged. She knew that he was not just indulging her.

Spock, she actually liked. On the surface, he may seem cold and aloof but he was a very caring individual. He was a good friend to Jim even before their relationship changed, as soon as they stopped hating each other if they ever really did. He was a good friend to little David before he became his stepfather. He understood what it was like for David to lose a mother and be 'the human kid in school. She doubted it was part of his first officer duties to provide the then four year old a guide to the Vulcan education system.

Spock keeping Jim alive was an obvious sign it was love, considering how many times he has almost died. Winona also knew it was true unconditional love when Spock essentially told Starfleet to go fuck themselves in a very Vulcan way when they tried to split the two up after the 'accidental marriage'. Starfleet bureaucracy didn't stand a chance with those two. If anyone could find a loophole, it was Spock. She knew Jim found that true once in a lifetime love in Spock.

She also knew that Spock saw David as his own child. Winona can't repeat what Spock said to the parents of a classmate of David that ridiculed him for being human. She had no idea Vulcan's had curse words until that particular incident. Winona knew Spock would do anything to make his little boy happy as evidenced by Spock convincing his father to bring David with him just so he could fulfill David's birthday wish of getting to spend the day with both of his fathers.

Winona was enjoying this family moment with her baby. It really helped Jim didn't notice the giant rock on her finger. Chris was planning on proposing to her in front of everybody but a certain sneaky grandson of hers found the engagement ring and ruined the surprise. This resulted in David's current banishment to his little friend's house. It was better that it was a spontaneous private moment, anyway.

Winona really hoped Jim would take her engagement better this time around. After knowing each other for nearly 30 years, she knew Chris was not an ass. This time she knew she loved him. It wasn't that exact same passionate all-encompassing love she felt with George the moment the hatred was gone. What she felt for Chris was the type of love that grew over time and could handle anything. It was a mature love. Maybe it was not the same type the love that she felt for George, but it was the most real thing she ever felt. Maybe if you live long enough, you can find the love of your second life.

Christopher was a good grandfather to little David and probably the best father figure that James ever had. She knew that Chris loved both of them, and not just for her sake. He was willing to retire just so they would not have to uproot David from the colony.

"I see that Admiral Pike already proposed." Spock said, as he got out of the hug as quickly as possible. She forgot how observant he was.

"Yes. I didn't have a choice. Did you really have to teach your son to go through other people's stuff?" Her fiancé asked as he walked into the room and gently kissed her on the cheek.

"It's a useful skill. It is not my fault he accidentally discovered what was going to happen when he called yesterday. Blame my Vulcan husband who can survive Klingon interrogation sessions but doesn't stand a chance against his own kid." Jim said defensively. Considering the dark look coming from Spock, Winona doubted that that's what happened.

"Congratulations mom. You deserve to be happy." James told her as he kissed her other cheek before going over to touch his husband's hand inappropriately in the universal jester for 'I'm sorry for being an idiot'.

"Speaking of my very devious son, where is he?" Jim asked, obviously wanting to see David as quickly as possible.

"He is at T'Pan's house. He knows to be here at 4:45, but you're early." Winona said looking at the time.

"He also seems to lose all sense of time in T'Pan's presence." Her fiancé said with a slight chuckle. Winona personally finds it adorable that David's best friend has a crush on him that the boy is completely unaware of.

"Should I find it creepy that the daughter of the woman who refused to bond with you has a gigantic crush on David that even I can pick up on? You may need to have the bonding talk with our kid." Jim said kissing Spock on the lips.

"Highly improbable, yes. Creepy, no. This may be due in part to the fact that T'Pring did not raise her daughter. I also believe you are right about having 'the talk' with David as you would put it." Spock said, returning the kiss in a way that made her slightly uncomfortable. Considering where her son's hand was wondering, he most likely forgot that she was in the room.

"Really do you two have to make out all the time? You're married now. Most married people don't do that. I guess I'm going to have to get used to this." David said, walking into the house with T'Pan. Jim broke away from Spock to hug David. Of course David pulled away because he's too big for hugs now.

"I haven't seen you in four months. I deserve a hug. I even brought you a cool souvenir from my most recent mission. If you want to see it, you will let me hug you." Jim said.

"Fine, you win." David acquiesced. "It better be cool."

"It will be perfect for your science loving mind. Spock picked it out. You'll never get used to me and Spock making out all the time." Jim remarked as he let go.

"Considering how much time I will be spending with you soon, I probably will. I hope you don't make out like that on the ship. That's just unprofessional." David said with a snicker of disgust.

"As much as I want you on Enterprise, the idiots in charge will not allow it. No offense Chris." Jim responded with irritation.

"None taken," Christopher replied. "It seems that as you put it 'the idiots in charge' have changed their minds, provisionally, of course. Enterprise is to be the test Ship." Chris then when on to explain how David managed to convince the powers that be to initiate a pilot program to allow children to live with their parents during deep space missions. She heard all this the day before. Actually, she proofread the proposal and added information about how she had to turn down certain positions due to childcare concerns and not wanting to be away from her family for more than three or four months at a time.

"You're kidding. Spock, why do you not seem surprise?" Jim asked.

"If you read through the most recent e-mail from Starfleet headquarters, instead of trying to pack, you would be aware of this change. The purpose of such a change is to keep older personnel, more likely to have families, in Starfleet longer therefore decreasing the loss of knowledgeable personnel and lessening the current staffing crisis. However, I was unaware of which ship would be participating in the pilot. I am fascinated that a nine year old child could compose such a compelling argument. It is not surprising because I am well aware of your great intellect and persuasive skills." Spock said praising David.

"It's your job to tell me this sort of thing." Jim said looking annoyed at Spock.

"You two bring new meaning to the phrase 'old married couple'." Winona remarked. "You should be happy about this."

"I'm happy about this. I'm also very proud of you, David." Jim smiled.

"I look forward to you being on the Enterprise during the trial period." Spock said as he approached his son.

"I look forward to spending more time with you and dad even if I won't get to see T'Pan for a little while." She couldn't help but snicker at David's last comment. T'Pan was probably trying to come up with a way to get on that ship. "I also promise not to hack into the main computer." David smirked.

"Remember this is a pilot program. If you do something stupid like that you'll be back here on earth with me and your grandma. Is that understood?" Christopher said sharply.

"Yes, Admiral Grandpa. Come on T'Pan, you have to meet Aunt Sarah. She makes the best raspberry chocolate tarts." David said pulling T'Pan in to the kitchen.

"Admiral Grandpa? Jim asked with a smirk as the two left the room.

"I am going to be his grandfather. I get to keep the title of admiral even if I will be working out of the colony. I think I better go in there. Sarah probably has no idea what will happen if she gave chocolate to an adolescent Vulcan." As Christopher left the room, Spock kissed Jim one more time before carrying everything upstairs. She is almost sure an 'I love you; was exchanged.

"You look happy." Winona said as she walked over to her only living child now sitting on one of the couches.

"I am. I have a husband who gets me and can even tolerate being hugged to death by you." Jim said laughing.

"That's because he loves me." Winona replied back with a smile.

"Probably, I have a job I love and the one part I hated about it, being away from David, is a thing of the past. I'm happy. Are you happy, mom?" Jim asked.

"Yes, I am. Chris makes me happy in a way that I haven't been in a very long time. I love him very much." She replied remembering when he asked that question nearly 30 years ago. This time she had no need to lie.

"It's obvious from all of the smiling." Jim said with a laugh.

"Remember when I told you things would be wonderful someday?"

"Yes." Jim reply looking at her.

"Today is some day. Everything is wonderful now." Winona said as she kissed her son on the forehead before going to join her fiancé in his effort to keep T'Pan indulging in chocolate tarts.

The end.


End file.
